**THE 80'S
1982
- The compact disc is released. Vinyl sales go to an all time low. I’m still big into the mix tape.
- Florida secessionist movement starts. It never gets very far.
- Princess Diana gives birth to Prince William. One day, he will be king, but I won’t be. Life ain’t fair.
- Falklands War begins and ends. I am cruelly denied the Victoria Cross.
- Mass. Representative Gerry Studds admits to having sex with a 17 year old boy, and announces he’s gay. He continues to win elections until retiring in1996.
- Pole Position becomes the first successful driving videogame.
- Jack Howitzer picture “Evacuator” reinvents the cinema.
- Checkered Vans are the most popular shoes all over.
- Kent Paul is born. Me, Paulo, leaves East Kent for Florida and a crack at the big time. I’m a wide eyed little bleeder of 17. People begin to call me Kent Paul.
- Moon Boots and ear cuffs are the rage. Pink and Green are the coolest colors, best if worn together. It is a dark time for fashion.
- Yuppies start to “Do lunch.”
- The Term AIDS is used for the first time.
- USA Today newspaper is born.
- Princess Grace of Monaco killed in a car crash.
- Human growth hormone genetically engineered.

1983
- President Reagan proposes a space laser weapons system, called the Strategic Defensive Initiative. Otherwise known as “Star Wars.”
- Margaret Thatcher is reelected as Prime Minister of Britain.
- Korean airlines boeing 747 is shot down over the USSR by a Soviet fighter jet.
- Karen Carpenter dies from an eating disorder.
- Australia win America’s cup, breaking a 132 year victory run for the US. Ha bleeding ha.
- The US invades Grenada to eliminate Cuban military presence. They soon occupy the country.
- Sally K. Ride is the first woman ever to go into space.
- There are five thousand confirmed cases of AIDS in the United States, but Ronald Reagan still won’t mention the words AIDS in public.
- Soft bifocal contact lenses invented. From now on, glasses are a choice.
- Swatch watches hit the market.

1984
- Beef Shot exposed for using too many chemicals and no beef in their hamburgers.
- Marvin Gaye is shot dead by his father after an argument.
- Ronald Reagan is reelected.
- American scientists announce global warming, or the “Greenhouse Effect.” Now everybody denies it.
- Indira Ghandi is assassinated by one of her own bodyguards. Her son, Rajiv, succeeds her.
- Frankie says “Relax!” Kent Paul says “Get bang on one!”
- "Just the Five of Us" is a big hit. So am I.
- During a radio microphone test, Ronald Reagan says “My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes.” It is accidentally aired. Bloody genius.
- The Olympics take place in Los Angeles, and are boycotted by the Soviet Union.
- The UK and China agree that Hong Kong will go back to China in 1997.
- Toxic gas leaks in India, killing 2,000. Toxic gas leaks in my house, causing an attractive girl to leave and never call me again.
- Apple Macintosh is invented.

1985
- Mikhail Gorbachev is named the new Soviet leader.
- Home Degenatron system appears.
- Giggle Cream is released with famous slogan “Make desserts funny” - three million dead brain cells later, you’ll laugh at anything.
- Live Aid - Sixty of the world’s top stars get together and sing together in harmony to raise money for starving Alaskans. It raises $60 million.
- The French sink the Greenpeace flagship “Rainbow Warrior” in Aukland. French defense minister is forced to resign. Nice one. Shooting a load of peace protestors.
- Youngest girl genius ever graduates from Oxford University. She is 13. I went there too. Five times.
- 153 hostages held on a hijacked TWA plane by Shi’ite terrorists are released. One person is dead.
- Jack Howitzer is cruelly denied an Oscar for his performance as an American with a desire to kill lots of foreigners in their own country.
- Nancy Reagan lets the world know her strong beliefs about the death penalty: “I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty.”
- UK starts screening blood donations for AIDS.
- Cash machines go nationwide.
- Windows program invented for Macintosh. Fascinating, or what?